So Much More

His face was so weathered.  I could tell there was a lot of pain held in that crippled, broken man.


My daughter walked up to me and said two simple words "he's hungry".  Those two words carried a huge weight of responsibility and I felt it instantly.  I quickly turned our growing brood around and we headed back inside to buy this man a meal.

Suddenly a stranger was walking up to my daughter and handing her $20 to pay for his meal... God see's his broken.

We bought him his meal, took it to him and quietly walked to the car.  All of us a little shaken and sad... we had seen one more side of this broken, hurting world and it touched us all.

A few weeks ago I began to see a side of my daughters heart that aches for the hurting, homeless, broken, poor and abused.  She cannot stand to see someone hurting and not do something about it.  This instinct has challenged me in ways that honestly make me squirm a little.

God and I have had one sided discussions where I ask "We're already doing a lot right??"  "We're already loving your orphans right???" The answer really was the silence of a loving Father who looks at his child with laughter in his eyes.  I could feel the gentle laughter of my Father.  It wasn't a joyful laughter.. more of the chuckle of one who can't believe they've really been asked that question... do I really think there will be a point where I'm done???

I'm beginning to understand there is no end to the pain, hurting, loneliness and suffering of this world.  The only way it gets better is with Jesus and SO many don't even understand who he is.

I'm beginning to see a stirring in our hearts... a desperation to not live a life that simply settles to be a little "extreme" in how our family looks... but instead to be sold out, over the top, pouring ourselves out until the only thing left is a spirit that is finally beginning to understand just a little of what suffering for His name truly looks like.

I want to be poured out.  That terrifies me and brings me to tears as I'm writing it.. but in the midst of our crazy, painful, chaotic life we are very aware that this life is meaningless if it's even "mostly" about the jobs, money, cars, church functions, partys.. the list goes on.

There's nothing fanatical in this heart.. just a girl who has seen a glimpse of this Jesus and who desperately wants more.

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