Through the Storms
Whoohoo I'm back and ready to write!!
It seems a tradition of sorts has begun in our home where the months of November and December become incredibly emotional in some way and we back off from our "normal" routine and just feel our way through it.
WELL December is almost over and I've had just about all the "feelin" I can take lol!
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas holiday. We had many, many sweet moments with family and friends. I truly feel blessed this year. Even with all the pain we've experienced, I wouldn't change our life for a second.
One of my all time favorite moments of Christmas was Christmas day with my family. I don't know what it was about this year but suddenly we all liked each other, laughed a lot and enjoyed spending 4 DAYS together in some form. Christmas day was spent laughing, sharing our struggles through the last year and crying through some of them and giving gifts that actually made each other happy! It was a sweet time and I will forever cherish sitting and listening to my parents share about their past year and how God has brought them through. I learned that a girl always needs the wisdom of her daddy.. even when he has no idea he gave it and that family really is everything.
SO a large part of this blog is talking about adoption and I'm not going to disappoint this time around! November 7th was the day that our foster kids were taken from our home and we entered a tailspin of sorts (yet again) as we tried to figure out what was next. There was a lot of grief at first that gave way to anger and in all honesty I'm still working through the anger side of it... but as my wise daddy said "the scriptures are what get you through the anger". So I'm going back to the scriptures and of course my daddy was and is right.
So through all of the muddled emotions we both began to separately see some HUGE issues with foster care (for us) and we just didn't see how we could continue and didn't feel a peace about continuing. Those concerns really aren't something I'm ready to put out there to the cyber world.. but if you're seriously considering foster care and would like to talk through options we are always willing!
In the end we both came the agreement that adoption really is the best option for us. We need that stability and kids do to that being in one home can give. So on December 3rd we signed back up with Bethany Christian Services. We are still adopting through the state, still desire a sibling group and love the thought of older kids! We are so grateful for our time as foster parents because 1. it allowed us to meet our sweet A and that child will always be a part of our heart and 2. It trained us and took us through experiences we could NEVER have had simply waiting to be matched with children. So it was kindove like an intensive training session that kinda rips your heart out and reattaches it differently :).... a good different... a more compassionate, understanding and "I can take more than I thought" different!
So next week we complete our home study update with Bethany and re-enter the glorious (intense sarcasm here) waiting phase that is so notorious for teaching your heart more than it wants to be taught!
We don't know what the wait will look like... it could be days or it could be years. All I know is THAT part of our life feels very peaceful and RIGHT. I'm still working through all the waves of emotion that come with leaving foster care so suddenly but even that is getting easier.
There was one day in the middle of all this pain that my human side just mentally screamed out that it was done and I wanted a "normal" life. I laugh at that now because this is normal. This is our normal and for all the pain, ups and downs, mis-understandings and loneliness that sometimes comes with it it's still our normal. Jesus asks us to follow him... he doesn't promise us it's going to be pretty or easy... he just promises to be with us always. That promise has been kept and so I gladly (most of the time) embrace our "normal" and will keep holding on to him in the storms!
Be blessed!
It seems a tradition of sorts has begun in our home where the months of November and December become incredibly emotional in some way and we back off from our "normal" routine and just feel our way through it.
WELL December is almost over and I've had just about all the "feelin" I can take lol!
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas holiday. We had many, many sweet moments with family and friends. I truly feel blessed this year. Even with all the pain we've experienced, I wouldn't change our life for a second.
One of my all time favorite moments of Christmas was Christmas day with my family. I don't know what it was about this year but suddenly we all liked each other, laughed a lot and enjoyed spending 4 DAYS together in some form. Christmas day was spent laughing, sharing our struggles through the last year and crying through some of them and giving gifts that actually made each other happy! It was a sweet time and I will forever cherish sitting and listening to my parents share about their past year and how God has brought them through. I learned that a girl always needs the wisdom of her daddy.. even when he has no idea he gave it and that family really is everything.
SO a large part of this blog is talking about adoption and I'm not going to disappoint this time around! November 7th was the day that our foster kids were taken from our home and we entered a tailspin of sorts (yet again) as we tried to figure out what was next. There was a lot of grief at first that gave way to anger and in all honesty I'm still working through the anger side of it... but as my wise daddy said "the scriptures are what get you through the anger". So I'm going back to the scriptures and of course my daddy was and is right.
So through all of the muddled emotions we both began to separately see some HUGE issues with foster care (for us) and we just didn't see how we could continue and didn't feel a peace about continuing. Those concerns really aren't something I'm ready to put out there to the cyber world.. but if you're seriously considering foster care and would like to talk through options we are always willing!
In the end we both came the agreement that adoption really is the best option for us. We need that stability and kids do to that being in one home can give. So on December 3rd we signed back up with Bethany Christian Services. We are still adopting through the state, still desire a sibling group and love the thought of older kids! We are so grateful for our time as foster parents because 1. it allowed us to meet our sweet A and that child will always be a part of our heart and 2. It trained us and took us through experiences we could NEVER have had simply waiting to be matched with children. So it was kindove like an intensive training session that kinda rips your heart out and reattaches it differently :).... a good different... a more compassionate, understanding and "I can take more than I thought" different!
So next week we complete our home study update with Bethany and re-enter the glorious (intense sarcasm here) waiting phase that is so notorious for teaching your heart more than it wants to be taught!
We don't know what the wait will look like... it could be days or it could be years. All I know is THAT part of our life feels very peaceful and RIGHT. I'm still working through all the waves of emotion that come with leaving foster care so suddenly but even that is getting easier.
There was one day in the middle of all this pain that my human side just mentally screamed out that it was done and I wanted a "normal" life. I laugh at that now because this is normal. This is our normal and for all the pain, ups and downs, mis-understandings and loneliness that sometimes comes with it it's still our normal. Jesus asks us to follow him... he doesn't promise us it's going to be pretty or easy... he just promises to be with us always. That promise has been kept and so I gladly (most of the time) embrace our "normal" and will keep holding on to him in the storms!
Be blessed!
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