Where Do You Fit In???

I watched her walk to the car as slowly as she could.  I've heard this from other people, and am learning it in my own life, that kids who've had so much control taken from them their entire life will seek out ways to take it back.  She could control making me wait for her and so she did.

I calmly waited for her, even acted like I didn't see her.  She got in the car, put her headphones on and sat silently.  I sent bullet prayers up to the heavens... you see in 45 minutes we had one of the most talented women I know coming to shoot some pictures of our sweet girls.  This woman had donated her amazing skills and at that second I was seeing it all turn into a colossal failure.... then she told me she just wanted to wear her JROTC uniform for the pictures and the prayers became more frequent.

We got home and I went in side while she played on the driveway with little A.  I paced, I fretted, I worried and prayed some more and then I got my answer... teach her what it is to be a girl... teach her what it is to be feminine... simply be willing to teach.

So I took my ipad out to the front yard and asked if I could show her something.  I quickly pulled up past pictures this friend had taken and showed her just how special it was that she was willing to come and do this for us.  As I talked about their clothes and how much we wanted to celebrate her turning 17 I could see the frustration and stress of the day slowly fade.  I asked her if I could curl her hair and help her with the makeup (she's just starting to get interested in that), she said yes and my heart lept! This was progress!!

45 minutes later she was pretty in pink, posing in front of the mirror  and ready for her picture to be taken.  My heart melted as I watched her just be a girl for a few minutes.  There was no worries about the future.  There were no court dates, dr. appointments, therapists, social workers or case workers fogging everything up... she was just A and I loved every moment of it.

My friend Kristen from Like a Dream Photography came and took her and little A's pictures.  She even took a few with the four of us and it was a very special and much needed moment of peace in the middle of this crazy, chaotic life that we lead.

I have been thinking back to the days leading up to bringing our girls home.  During the months of preparation people would say things that made it clear how much fear there is surrounding foster care, adoption and taking in the orphan in any capacity.  I remember strangers telling me foster kids would destroy my life.  I was told that we just needed to never take a child older than 5.  I was told a lot of things....

I guess what I'm trying to say is there is nothing easy about loving the unloved.  There is nothing easy about bringing a child into your home that is so close to adulthood but who has very few life skills.  There is nothing easy about helping someone raise a child who has no idea what a toddler needs... but I come back to the truth that we, the children of God, the heirs with Jesus, are called to nothing less than the hard, dirty, painful reality that is loving the unloved.  I would NEVER go back to the life I had before... even the hard days where I find myself asking what we've done.

I am slowly getting to glimpse the reformation of a life that was broken, unloved, forgotten and cast aside.  A life that was told over and over that she was worthless.  I get to be the hands and feet of Jesus in her life and show her just how much she is loved and cherished...

We, the church and bride of Christ, should be doing nothing less.  I guess I'm asking the question.. what is your hard thing?  What is it that scares the mess out of you but also thrills you to no end because you know that in that scary, messy unknown is a beauty and redemption that is only found in completely and utterly depending on him.

I believe we're all called to minister to the orphan and the widow.. this will look different for every believer in Jesus... but we're still called....  What is your role???