Our Blessing
I collapsed onto the couch this morning at 8:35am and didn't open my eyes again for two hours... Why so tired you ask? Our schedule drastically changed for this week and I am getting up at 5:30am every morning to wake three darling children, feed them (and Steve which he doesn't get normally so he's happy) and then drive them to their school that is a half hour to forty-five minutes away. Why are we doing this you ask??? Because we believe adoption, foster-care and everything in-between is a community effort.
I hear it said a LOT in the adoption/foster community that they feel so supported while they're waiting for kids but then the kids come and everyone assumes everything is perfect from that first moment and they go back to their lives. I know everyone has busy lives and everyone has their struggles. I don't ever want to diminish that. I'm simply saying that if you feel called to love on, pray for and support a family who is going through the foster/adoption process, don't stop once the kids come home.
The REAL work begins when that door closes and those parents are staring into the face of this child or children that have now become family. No matter the age of the child there are massive adjustments that will go on behind those doors. If the child or children are older then those parents will go through hell most likely before they reach the side where a family emerges... I know.. I've been there.
With each of our girls that came through our home there was an intense transition time. It depended on the child, but all of them were hard, full of joy, pain, grief and sorrow and were just plain HARD. There were many nights (and this will happen again when our forevers come home i'm sure) that I would quietly walk upstairs when Steve got home and sit and cry where my beautiful girls couldn't see me. I wasn't crying for me. I was crying for the pain each of these littles was carrying in their heart. I was crying for the joy I saw robbed, the life experiences that had come too soon and the anger that they carried to protect themselves. There wasn't just one child I saw that struggled, it was all of them and believe me.. parents who parent children from hard places NEED your support and love.
If you know someone in your life who has adopted, is adopting, is a foster parent or has that calling... love on them. How do you love on them? You love on their kids. You give them moments of rest. You surprise them with a meal. You knock on that door and be willing to shoulder a little of the pain that family is facing and let them know you see them... You listen... listening is huge.
We were talking with some family friends this week about how we suddenly feel like pieces from part of the puzzle of our life are starting to fall into place. We don't ask God WHY he's let us parent so many kids but none of them have stayed. We don't ask WHY we've experienced so many of the faces of adoption/foster care. We know it's because now we get it. If we meet someone in the process.. it doesn't really matter what process their in.. we get it.
Over the past few months we've really felt a burden to begin building a community of families that have adopted/foster/or something in between. We've named this community 127 in reference to James 1:27. It's been crazy to see how once Steve said "Yes" to us doing this we started making connections with people that need that community. I'm so excited to see where it goes, and even more excited to create an environment where our future kids are not the exception but the norm!
When I think back on our journey I am so grateful for the hundreds of people that have prayed, the ones who have sent clothes, money, toys and support and the few that have sat in our home, loved on us and developed relationships with our kids. You have all touched our lives in a way that is incredibly humbling and it helps us to keep on.
You are a blessing to us!
I hear it said a LOT in the adoption/foster community that they feel so supported while they're waiting for kids but then the kids come and everyone assumes everything is perfect from that first moment and they go back to their lives. I know everyone has busy lives and everyone has their struggles. I don't ever want to diminish that. I'm simply saying that if you feel called to love on, pray for and support a family who is going through the foster/adoption process, don't stop once the kids come home.
The REAL work begins when that door closes and those parents are staring into the face of this child or children that have now become family. No matter the age of the child there are massive adjustments that will go on behind those doors. If the child or children are older then those parents will go through hell most likely before they reach the side where a family emerges... I know.. I've been there.
With each of our girls that came through our home there was an intense transition time. It depended on the child, but all of them were hard, full of joy, pain, grief and sorrow and were just plain HARD. There were many nights (and this will happen again when our forevers come home i'm sure) that I would quietly walk upstairs when Steve got home and sit and cry where my beautiful girls couldn't see me. I wasn't crying for me. I was crying for the pain each of these littles was carrying in their heart. I was crying for the joy I saw robbed, the life experiences that had come too soon and the anger that they carried to protect themselves. There wasn't just one child I saw that struggled, it was all of them and believe me.. parents who parent children from hard places NEED your support and love.
If you know someone in your life who has adopted, is adopting, is a foster parent or has that calling... love on them. How do you love on them? You love on their kids. You give them moments of rest. You surprise them with a meal. You knock on that door and be willing to shoulder a little of the pain that family is facing and let them know you see them... You listen... listening is huge.
We were talking with some family friends this week about how we suddenly feel like pieces from part of the puzzle of our life are starting to fall into place. We don't ask God WHY he's let us parent so many kids but none of them have stayed. We don't ask WHY we've experienced so many of the faces of adoption/foster care. We know it's because now we get it. If we meet someone in the process.. it doesn't really matter what process their in.. we get it.
Over the past few months we've really felt a burden to begin building a community of families that have adopted/foster/or something in between. We've named this community 127 in reference to James 1:27. It's been crazy to see how once Steve said "Yes" to us doing this we started making connections with people that need that community. I'm so excited to see where it goes, and even more excited to create an environment where our future kids are not the exception but the norm!
When I think back on our journey I am so grateful for the hundreds of people that have prayed, the ones who have sent clothes, money, toys and support and the few that have sat in our home, loved on us and developed relationships with our kids. You have all touched our lives in a way that is incredibly humbling and it helps us to keep on.
You are a blessing to us!
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