The Problem

I have to apologize that it's been such a long time since I posted on here. I know it's my husbandly duty to write a post once a week and I've just been terrible at that lately.
So, I'm sure you were all wondering what happened to me whilst Katie was across the seas. In a word, I was pretty miserable. The past few times Katie has been gone, I've been able to relatively cope with it, but this time was horrendous. The first Friday night she was gone, I totally had the man version of a depressing girl night. I ordered pizza, ate ice cream and watched movies...by myself. When Katie got home and I told her about it, we agreed that it was pretty much a Bridget Jones Diary moment (if you haven't seen the movie, then you will not get that reference at all).I deeply missed my wife. What's funny about all of this, was as a joke, I started taking really depressing pictures of myself cause everyone thought I was going to starve the entire time she was gone and that I'd be disheveled, etc, but it did end up becoming a reality. Apparently, I began to look like a zombie, which wasn't unlike how I felt.

There were a few rays of sunshine throughout the time Katie was gone. I bought a new guitar, because you're not technically an Worship Leader unless you own an acoustic electric. I got a great deal on it and it's been a pretty awesome guitar so far. The same day I got the guitar, I met up with a friend of mine who is budding recording engineer and recorded a song. It's not quite ready for the public yet, actually, it's got a long way to go, but I think it is going to be pretty awesome. I spoke with our churches worship pastor, showed him the song and said I'd like to use the choir to which he was game for! So, yeah, it needs a choir, percussion, more vocals (I've actually changed some of the words since I recorded my vocal tracks), some bass, some electric, and some sweet fender Rhodes (yeah Jeff, I'm looking at you!).

I will share the lyrics with you today though. The song is called "The Problem" and it's about the selfishness I've found in myself that God has been showing me. I think a lot of people struggle with this too. We want God to do things our way. We pray prayers where we try to tell God what to do and it ultimately boils down to us saying to God, "do what we want so we won't need you anymore."

The Problem

You don't care when I'm angry
Cause I didn't get my way
You don't care when I'm stuck
In traffic everyday
Cause all you see is a man
Who's starving for some bread
Who's silent prayers go unanswered
By his gods who don't exist

Lord, I've found that the problem is You're failing to see
You're too focused on the world to focus all on me

You don't care when I'm tired
And I didn't get much sleep
You don't care when the lottery
Passes over me
Cause all you see is a man
Who's beaten for his faith
Who forgives his attackers
And loves them anyway

Lord, I've found that the problem is You're failing to see
You're too focused on the world to focus all on me

You didn't care when they beat You
And spat in Your face
Called you liar
And traded all your things
You gave them forgiveness
As you took on all our shame
Then You opened up Your arms
And swallowed up the grave

Now I've found that the problem
I've been failing to see
Is the reason that You died
Wasn't just for me
Cause Your love is bigger
Than my insecurity
Would you open up my heart
To hurt for bigger things?