Still
This past week was a crazy one. On top of all the newness of this stage we are in, Steve was pretty much gone because of rehearsal and then performing in our church's Christmas program. The program was amazing and I was and am so proud of everyone that was a part of it. I do look back on it though and realize that I made some mistakes in the "mommy" department that were pretty influential.
I love to help, I love to be involved (who doesn't?). Well a few weeks ago I heard help was needed with the behind the scenes stuff for the program. Well not really thinking about the consequences or impact it would have on the girls I said I could help. It became very apparent to me by the second night of the show that I was not where I was supposed to be. I was becoming and am now sick with bronchitis, the girls were incredibly sleep deprived and the house was a wreck and no dinners were being made. The whole reason we had decided I wouldn't do the program in the first place was so I could keep things together at home... mommy fail.
I don't say all of this to totally tear myself down... but to say I am learning. I realized this weekend that I have to slow it down even more than I thought I had. I need to be crawling at such a slow pace that my dense brain can hear what God is telling me, see and gauge where the girls are at in all of this and make sure they are getting what they need... this weekend I did not do that.
So this week I am slowing it down even more. I am staying home, reading my Bible and other books like Kisses from Katie (which I LOVE), I am getting laundry done and the house cleaned but most importantly I am resting so that when I get our girls back I am at my best and can meet their needs.
For this season, however long it goes, I know that God has put me in this place to learn to be intentional with my time, sensitive to what's going on with those close to me and able to say no. So today I am saying NO to the mindset that I have to be so busy every second of the day. I am saying NO to the idea that I have to get specific things done today. Today is about listening for His voice, waiting and trusting that God has put us in this place and he will faithfully lead us on.
Be Blessed.
I love to help, I love to be involved (who doesn't?). Well a few weeks ago I heard help was needed with the behind the scenes stuff for the program. Well not really thinking about the consequences or impact it would have on the girls I said I could help. It became very apparent to me by the second night of the show that I was not where I was supposed to be. I was becoming and am now sick with bronchitis, the girls were incredibly sleep deprived and the house was a wreck and no dinners were being made. The whole reason we had decided I wouldn't do the program in the first place was so I could keep things together at home... mommy fail.
I don't say all of this to totally tear myself down... but to say I am learning. I realized this weekend that I have to slow it down even more than I thought I had. I need to be crawling at such a slow pace that my dense brain can hear what God is telling me, see and gauge where the girls are at in all of this and make sure they are getting what they need... this weekend I did not do that.
So this week I am slowing it down even more. I am staying home, reading my Bible and other books like Kisses from Katie (which I LOVE), I am getting laundry done and the house cleaned but most importantly I am resting so that when I get our girls back I am at my best and can meet their needs.
For this season, however long it goes, I know that God has put me in this place to learn to be intentional with my time, sensitive to what's going on with those close to me and able to say no. So today I am saying NO to the mindset that I have to be so busy every second of the day. I am saying NO to the idea that I have to get specific things done today. Today is about listening for His voice, waiting and trusting that God has put us in this place and he will faithfully lead us on.
Be Blessed.
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