baby steps
Last Monday we sent out an email to some people asking them to pray and to pray hard that God would open up doors and show us what direction we should be pursuing with the adoption. We were humbled by how many people contacted us in the following hours telling us they were praying... my favorite was a family of 7 who had all the kids praying for our sweet baby.
Well the next morning we woke up and I checked my email... out of nowhere there was an email from "D". D is a social worker at another adoption agency. I had contact with her a few months back about a different situation but had not thought or talked to her or this agency since then. When I opened my email I saw she had written us about a birth mama who was looking for a family for her baby that was about to be born. The catch? This baby was out of state... the blessing? This adoption would be 7 to 10 thousand cheaper because of a grant involved. We were shocked and floored. We prayed and felt God push for us to do it. So we hastily turned in all of our information to the agency. There were a few things we couldn't get right away because of VA law but we didn't think that would be an issue.
Well the next day (Thursday), the day the birth mama would be shown the profiles, we got an email saying there was a problem with our paperwork and we needed to get them certain things asap. So we spent the morning frantically faxing, copying and scanning everything to them. It was a roller coaster of emotions and a very stressful morning. We got everything sent off and then just waited. We didn't know when we would hear anything but we just kept waiting. Around 2pm we finally heard from the agency but it wasn't what we thought it would be. They couldn't show our profile because of that form we couldn't get right away due to VA law. We were crushed. We had raced around all morning, frantically praying and literally freaking out. To find out that it was all for nothing was incredibly deflating.
We went home that night and were so emotional. We finally decided to go see "The Help" and just not think about any of this for the night... because at that point my emotions were so raw that I didn't want to even go a step further. Friday wasn't much better and we decided to not make any decisions this past weekend but to just finish what we had started and get the agency the rest of our paperwork that had finally come in.
We heard today that the birth mama was matched with a family and we are so happy she found a family that she wanted to parent her child. It was good to have closure on the whole situation. One thing we've learned in adoption is you go through all the emotions very quickly and have to be able to leave them behind once that situation is done. When we were in the middle of this last week the emotions were so strong. The grief when we heard we could not be shown was so thick I couldn't breath. But in God's grace he brought us through it and we're on the other side. I am now looking forward and anxiously awaiting the day we get to meet our child.
I don't know why we went through this.. other than God taught us to depend on him more. I kept hearing in my head over and over "Katie am I enough?" There is so much refining going on, so much is being shown to us. I can't say I love it but I know I need it. So right now things are slowing down for us... well ok not slowing down in the sense that we have a lot of things we're involved in but we are working on slowing ourselves down if that makes any sense? Projects are getting done, time together is a priority and friends and time with them is coveted. We feel change on the horizon but for now we are going to rest in this moment.
blessings!
Well the next morning we woke up and I checked my email... out of nowhere there was an email from "D". D is a social worker at another adoption agency. I had contact with her a few months back about a different situation but had not thought or talked to her or this agency since then. When I opened my email I saw she had written us about a birth mama who was looking for a family for her baby that was about to be born. The catch? This baby was out of state... the blessing? This adoption would be 7 to 10 thousand cheaper because of a grant involved. We were shocked and floored. We prayed and felt God push for us to do it. So we hastily turned in all of our information to the agency. There were a few things we couldn't get right away because of VA law but we didn't think that would be an issue.
Well the next day (Thursday), the day the birth mama would be shown the profiles, we got an email saying there was a problem with our paperwork and we needed to get them certain things asap. So we spent the morning frantically faxing, copying and scanning everything to them. It was a roller coaster of emotions and a very stressful morning. We got everything sent off and then just waited. We didn't know when we would hear anything but we just kept waiting. Around 2pm we finally heard from the agency but it wasn't what we thought it would be. They couldn't show our profile because of that form we couldn't get right away due to VA law. We were crushed. We had raced around all morning, frantically praying and literally freaking out. To find out that it was all for nothing was incredibly deflating.
We went home that night and were so emotional. We finally decided to go see "The Help" and just not think about any of this for the night... because at that point my emotions were so raw that I didn't want to even go a step further. Friday wasn't much better and we decided to not make any decisions this past weekend but to just finish what we had started and get the agency the rest of our paperwork that had finally come in.
We heard today that the birth mama was matched with a family and we are so happy she found a family that she wanted to parent her child. It was good to have closure on the whole situation. One thing we've learned in adoption is you go through all the emotions very quickly and have to be able to leave them behind once that situation is done. When we were in the middle of this last week the emotions were so strong. The grief when we heard we could not be shown was so thick I couldn't breath. But in God's grace he brought us through it and we're on the other side. I am now looking forward and anxiously awaiting the day we get to meet our child.
I don't know why we went through this.. other than God taught us to depend on him more. I kept hearing in my head over and over "Katie am I enough?" There is so much refining going on, so much is being shown to us. I can't say I love it but I know I need it. So right now things are slowing down for us... well ok not slowing down in the sense that we have a lot of things we're involved in but we are working on slowing ourselves down if that makes any sense? Projects are getting done, time together is a priority and friends and time with them is coveted. We feel change on the horizon but for now we are going to rest in this moment.
blessings!
Comments
I think those that aren't in the waiting stage we're in can't really understand it, but in a way, you prepare yourself for a baby and when you don't get to bring that baby home, it's a bit like a miscarriage, despite the fact that you're glad that the baby will have a family and that another couple is done with their wait. It's a very complicated, complex thing.
I'd be happy to get together with you sometime, if you'd like to have coffee and chat about it. :)
I'd love to get together sometime!!!