Updates and Ponderings

We get to become a family of 4 again today.  I am so excited!! Last Saturday was what we thought would be our last night with A. and her daughter.  I told her my hope and prayer was that by Friday (today) something would have happened so they could come back and live with us.  I LOVE that Jesus saw fit to answer that and do it in a way so she can see that he answers, he cares about her and he is REAL!

I would like to point out that I have some of the greatest friends in the world!  When I was younger I always prayed that God would bring me godly women who would love me for me and not what I could give them or do for them.  Over the last 2 years he's brought people into my life, restored relationships and deepened others and I feel so blessed.  I learned a very important lesson that if the only people in your life are ones you serve and you help out but who never give back then you will be a very lonely person.

When I began to open up, allow people to know what needs I had and actually expect people who called themselves my friends to be a part of things my relationships changed dramatically.

mya

A HUGE shout out to my bestie Mya for coming over yesterday when I was in a panic.  She cleaned my house so I could shower... because at that moment we thought I was two hours away from the girls coming back and my house was TRASHED!! There are so many other women who have loved on these girls, supported and listened to me process and who have just let me know they're waiting in the wings if I should need anything.  That has made me feel LOVED beyond imagine!

I also want to thank everyone who has let us know they are praying for us.  The last two years of adoption stuff, losing kids, switching gears and finally beginning to foster has been so hard.  We have seen our faith tested more than we thought possible, our marriage was hit and hit hard and we had to come face to face with our fears and decide if we really believed that God is enough no matter what.

Well I can say He is enough.  No matter what has come He has been enough.  When we had no direction other than God said to love, he was enough.  When we began the adoption journey and changed courses a million times in the first 6 months, he was enough.  When we lost our daughters and felt like our world had ended, he was enough.  And now, as we enter the world of foster care, he is enough.  This is the most unstable, ever changing, no security, restless way to have a family and yet we LOVE it.  It's painful and hard.  But how cool to be the hands and feet that get to show what redemption and undeserved love look like.  How cool to bring these kids in, have them be ours for however long they are with us and speak Jesus over them.

I have been criticized in the past that these kids aren't my only ministry.  I've been told I need to be pouring as much into the adults that cross my path and giving as much to them.  My response to this has been if the Lord brings us together I will do my best to pour in what I can... BUT my mission and purpose for this phase of my life is absolutely to be there and minister to these children.  I believe the gospel is shared through living your faith and speaking the truth and my job right now is to teach these little ones who He is and how much He loves them.  If that means I don't get to hang out with people my age as much... so be it.  If it means that I'm at home instead of at an outreach.. so be it.  As best we can we want to show our kids a life of service and a life lived for Christ.  We will take them with us as we minister... when that is what they need.

This also means finding a balance and I fully understand that... but having kids who are coming out of intense situations requires more of you and so I'm aware that I won't always be able to go out ... that just means you have to come to me :)

In all of this it's a learning process.  I'm trusting that the Lord will bring people into my path when he needs to to be a part of theirs.. but please.. if you have strong opinions about how we should or should not be ministering we respectfully ask for grace as we figure things out and love to cover anything we may screw up... because we absolutely will mis-step and we will make bad decisions... but that's part of life and how we learn.

So now I'm going to finish breakfast, put some last minute things together and get ready to bring my girls home for as long as they're able to be here.  This will be a weekend full of family time, an awesome beach party and the kick off Sunday for Catalyst Church.  If you're in the Hampton Roads area and are looking for a place to worship that is laid back and come as you are we'd love to see you at 10:30am!  There are amazing home made goodies... not that I'm trying to bribe you or anything...ok maybe I am :)

Be blessed by friends!