Crossing Over
We're in this stage I'd like to call "crossing over". This is a stage where parts of our old life and our new life are beginning to converge and we have no idea what we are doing. It's a stage full of wonderful, sweet moments. It's a stage full of fear and questioning. We are beginning the crossing over to being parents. I just had to sit and look at that word for a moment... parents. The further we get into this process the more we realize we have no idea what we are doing... but I think that's exactly where we are supposed to be.
We are currently working towards adopting two year old twins... yes the same ones that we wrote about a month ago.. the ones that it seemed like were never going to happen. Things change in a moment with adoption. Nothing is definite and it could all blow up in an instant but we keep feeling God pushing us forward.
Right now we're getting to know the family and spending time with the twins. It has been an incredibly sweet time. Yes there has been fear and questioning but every time we have brought it to Jesus... and EVERY time our questions have been answered so clearly and so directly. Our situation is not your "traditional" adoption story... not that there really is such a thing.
All of this to say... we are being molded. We spend a lot of time with the twins on the weekends and God has been using that to show glaring shortcomings in both of us. We have seen how selfish we are by nature, how much work this actually is going to be ... but the biggest thing we have seen is Jesus' love for us.
We've had a few instances where we've had to do time outs or discipline one of the twins while they've been with us... oh my goodness they are stubborn! One night we had them at the house and Steve was gone. I had to put one of them in time out and just needed to hear "I can't touch it" and time out would be done. Well it was back and forth.. each time I would come in and would just get a blank stare. Now this child speaks full sentences most of the time. You could literally see that little jaw set and the defiance in those eyes. It took a long time but finally I heard sobs coming from the other room and came in. I heard "I can't touch it" quietly whispered from those precious lips and instantly we were hugging. I felt the life lesson instantly. I felt Jesus opening my eyes instantly.
How many times does he sit there and just want to hear some version of "I can't touch it" and yet I am so much more stubborn than this sweet child... and how sweet is it when I do finally surrender to Him, to his will. He immediently scoops me up and loves on me. He lets me know I am still his child. I felt just a tiny fraction of that the other night. I felt the pain of watching this child sobb in front of me but still hold onto her idea of what control was... when I knew that what was coming was SO much better. When I finally was able to hold her and love on her and tell her this it was such a relief for ME. WOW.
So if you live around here and you see us with a set of twins... know that yes something is going on but we aren't going to give every detail of what it is. Things are moving along and we are thrilled but things are also very emotional and hard. Please be sensitive about the questions you ask. Please be sensitive about what you say in front of them... they are two and understand a great deal. Please keep us in your prayers as we have a long road ahead of us!
Change is everywhere and we welcome it with arms wide!!!
Be Blessed!
We are currently working towards adopting two year old twins... yes the same ones that we wrote about a month ago.. the ones that it seemed like were never going to happen. Things change in a moment with adoption. Nothing is definite and it could all blow up in an instant but we keep feeling God pushing us forward.
Right now we're getting to know the family and spending time with the twins. It has been an incredibly sweet time. Yes there has been fear and questioning but every time we have brought it to Jesus... and EVERY time our questions have been answered so clearly and so directly. Our situation is not your "traditional" adoption story... not that there really is such a thing.
All of this to say... we are being molded. We spend a lot of time with the twins on the weekends and God has been using that to show glaring shortcomings in both of us. We have seen how selfish we are by nature, how much work this actually is going to be ... but the biggest thing we have seen is Jesus' love for us.
We've had a few instances where we've had to do time outs or discipline one of the twins while they've been with us... oh my goodness they are stubborn! One night we had them at the house and Steve was gone. I had to put one of them in time out and just needed to hear "I can't touch it" and time out would be done. Well it was back and forth.. each time I would come in and would just get a blank stare. Now this child speaks full sentences most of the time. You could literally see that little jaw set and the defiance in those eyes. It took a long time but finally I heard sobs coming from the other room and came in. I heard "I can't touch it" quietly whispered from those precious lips and instantly we were hugging. I felt the life lesson instantly. I felt Jesus opening my eyes instantly.
How many times does he sit there and just want to hear some version of "I can't touch it" and yet I am so much more stubborn than this sweet child... and how sweet is it when I do finally surrender to Him, to his will. He immediently scoops me up and loves on me. He lets me know I am still his child. I felt just a tiny fraction of that the other night. I felt the pain of watching this child sobb in front of me but still hold onto her idea of what control was... when I knew that what was coming was SO much better. When I finally was able to hold her and love on her and tell her this it was such a relief for ME. WOW.
So if you live around here and you see us with a set of twins... know that yes something is going on but we aren't going to give every detail of what it is. Things are moving along and we are thrilled but things are also very emotional and hard. Please be sensitive about the questions you ask. Please be sensitive about what you say in front of them... they are two and understand a great deal. Please keep us in your prayers as we have a long road ahead of us!
Change is everywhere and we welcome it with arms wide!!!
Be Blessed!
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Brooke