Courageously Crying My Eyes Out
Unless you've been living under a rock in the Christian world lately, there has been a lot of buzz about a new movie, "Courageous" from the folks who did, "Fireproof" and "Facing the Giants". Previously, their movies had a great message but were kinda rough. This movie, they seriously upped their game. Quality cinematography, acting hugely improved, better dialogue.
This movie is about dads stepping up to the plate. About not choosing to settle for being "good enough" but striving for what God's standard of fatherhood. Having just started this journey, I couldn't have seen the movie at a better time.
I would like to start out saying I wept like a baby during this movie. Or at least my version of weeping like a baby. It involves me looking over to Katie so she can see the tears streaming down my face proving I do still have a soul.
It got me thinking a lot about fatherhood lately. About my dad and things he did and didn't do. About what I've started to do and not do. It has kept my brain constantly running. Thinking I'm a failure one second, the next thinking I'm the world's greatest dad. It's extremely exhausting - mentally, physically, spiritually.
I think every father goes through this process. Thinking about how much therapy your kids are going to go through when their older. Wondering if they will end up on a talk show. Will they only have material good enough for Dr. Phil? Praying to God they don't end up on Jerry Springer (is that guy still on).
What's worse is I start freaking out and Katie get's the brunt of it. Suddenly I become Judgey McJudgerton and point out every mistake she is making (even if I have to blur the lines of reality). Why can't she just jump into my brain and figure out exactly how I need to be encouraged right at that second?
As much as I want Katie to be my validator, I have to start looking to the right person, God. If I want the best example of a Father, I have to look to God. If I need an example to follow, it has to be God.
So, I've started trying to do things differently. I've started getting up even earlier so I can have time with God. To learn from Him and His word rather than titling at windmills. It's easy to be the world's greatest dad when you're going up against an image that looks a lot like yourself. It's a lot harder when the image can't be molded, can't be changed.
I'm taking a stand though. Who's with me?
This movie is about dads stepping up to the plate. About not choosing to settle for being "good enough" but striving for what God's standard of fatherhood. Having just started this journey, I couldn't have seen the movie at a better time.
I would like to start out saying I wept like a baby during this movie. Or at least my version of weeping like a baby. It involves me looking over to Katie so she can see the tears streaming down my face proving I do still have a soul.
It got me thinking a lot about fatherhood lately. About my dad and things he did and didn't do. About what I've started to do and not do. It has kept my brain constantly running. Thinking I'm a failure one second, the next thinking I'm the world's greatest dad. It's extremely exhausting - mentally, physically, spiritually.
I think every father goes through this process. Thinking about how much therapy your kids are going to go through when their older. Wondering if they will end up on a talk show. Will they only have material good enough for Dr. Phil? Praying to God they don't end up on Jerry Springer (is that guy still on).
What's worse is I start freaking out and Katie get's the brunt of it. Suddenly I become Judgey McJudgerton and point out every mistake she is making (even if I have to blur the lines of reality). Why can't she just jump into my brain and figure out exactly how I need to be encouraged right at that second?
As much as I want Katie to be my validator, I have to start looking to the right person, God. If I want the best example of a Father, I have to look to God. If I need an example to follow, it has to be God.
So, I've started trying to do things differently. I've started getting up even earlier so I can have time with God. To learn from Him and His word rather than titling at windmills. It's easy to be the world's greatest dad when you're going up against an image that looks a lot like yourself. It's a lot harder when the image can't be molded, can't be changed.
I'm taking a stand though. Who's with me?
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