A Full Heart

My heart is full.  Last week I spent most of it a bundle of nerves.  I was full of "what if's", "could be's" and a whole myriad of fears.  Our life is in this limbo.  We know where we think we are headed but there are so many turn-off's on the way there that anything could happen.  God has had immeasurable amounts of grace poured out on my unfaithful, wavering heart.  Every time we come to a "turn off" on this path I feel I get a promise or encouragement to stay the course, to keep moving forward, to fight for what he has put on our heart.  It is not easy... it is never easy.  But I am learning to trust and that is so worth it.

In Friday's post I quoted a verse at the end about casting your cares upon Him.  Sunday morning we went to church early for practice and at the end had a time of prayer as a team.  Our worship leader stood up and read some scripture to us.  My heart rejoiced as I heard the same promise I had written on Friday read back to me again. I have put that and a little more below...

1 Peter 5: 6-10

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 11 To him be the power for ever and ever. 

Amen.

What I'm coming to learn and feel God teaching me is to not rely so heavily on what I feel but to rely on what I know.  I know that he is my defender.  I know that he has called us to this time.  I know that he is calling me to be "steadfast and of sober mind".  I know he is calling me to resist the devil and stand firm.  I know he is calling me to love on the family of our sweet girls right now... no matter the outcome.  So today my heart is full... it's missing the girls but it's full.  

We had a wonderful weekend with them.  We laid low and danced in our pj's.  We took walks in the wind and jumped in puddles.  We sang songs and laughed A LOT.  Being a parent is such a joy.  

Yes there are moments where I want to throw a sippy cup through the wall... but there is so much love and joy and it just fits.  So for now I will focus on what God has called Steve and I to today.  To love this family, pray for them and to trust him for the outcome we need.  We have already seen that He is in this... every step of the way.  

Be Blessed ~