Warm and Fuzzies
So once a week I like to find a story that has to do with adoption or has something in it I can relate to with our journey. The story below was very interesting to me because we will be doing a semi-open adoption (communication with birth parents through the agency) but are also not ruling out the idea that someday we would move to an open adoption (information is exchanged and they are a part of our families life from time to time). I really want our kids to know where they came from, to be able to ask the questions they have and to understand that like my parents told me every day "nothing could make me stop loving them".
This week has really been a crazy one. Our house is quickly filling up with things to sell, our bathroom is nearing completion but there is still a lot finish, I've been working 8-12 hrs and we're gearing up for a huge event at church on Saturday and then Easter. I've been an easy target for stress and satan. I've seen things suddenly get thrown in my path to try and take my mind off the things I really need to focus on and I've been so blessed that each time that begins to happen God uses Steve, one of my friends or someone at the church to grab me and sometimes push me back on track. Tues. afternoon it was a wonderful, sweet woman grabbing me and praying for me and it blessed me so much. Last night it was sweet friends understanding I was just having a bad night, sending me home and covering me in prayer. I love prayer! I love what it can do and how God hears us! I have been in tears so much over the last few days about how even in my exhausted, grumpy state he's still been able to use me and even more than that he's been showing his goodness and mercy all over the place.
So enjoy the story and I hope you have a wonderful day!!!
Gretchen and Justin : Semi-Open Adoption The Atlanta couple had tried to get pregnant for a year, then endured two years of failed fertility treatments. Finally, they decided to adopt domestically -- but not without reservations. Gretchen, 30, a publicist, and Justin, 32, an executive recruiter, worried that they might have a long wait and were intimidated about maintaining a relationship with the birth mother. "We had some concerns," says Gretchen. "Wouldn't it be confusing to the child?" And what if the birth mom decided to take the baby away from them?
Since most birth mothers insist on at least some contact, the McWhorters finally settled on "semi-open" adoption: They would agree to meet the birth mother beforehand and send periodic notes about their child's progress. A friend referred the couple to an adoption agency, which had them create a "profile," a book of photos and letters designed to show that they would make suitable parents ("It was like putting together a scrapbook of our lives," says Gretchen). A month later, they received word that a single woman in her early 20s, in her last trimester of pregnancy, wanted to speak to them. "I was so afraid of saying the wrong thing," says Gretchen. But the two women hit it off, and within two weeks the birth mom picked the couple to be the adoptive parents. It was an exceptionally fast agreement -- private domestic matches often take a year or longer.
The McWhorters met the birth mother for dinner shortly before her due date and were by her side when she went into labor. "I kept saying to her, 'Kick me out at any point. I don't have to be here.' But she wanted us to stay," says Gretchen. The birth mom had Justin cut the cord, then invited Gretchen to give baby Elizabeth her first bottle. She let the newborn spend her first night with the couple (who stayed in an adjacent hospital room) and signed away her rights the next day. "Everyone was crying when we left," Gretchen recalls, "except the baby."
But it wasn't really a goodbye. Gretchen sends e-mails and photos of Elizabeth (who's now 11 months old) every week. And having read research that shows adopted children do better when they learn about their birth parents, she isn't ruling out the possibility of inviting the birth mom to visit them one day. "I believe it's in Elizabeth's best interest for us to be more open," Gretchen says. "And that's what matters most."
Since most birth mothers insist on at least some contact, the McWhorters finally settled on "semi-open" adoption: They would agree to meet the birth mother beforehand and send periodic notes about their child's progress. A friend referred the couple to an adoption agency, which had them create a "profile," a book of photos and letters designed to show that they would make suitable parents ("It was like putting together a scrapbook of our lives," says Gretchen). A month later, they received word that a single woman in her early 20s, in her last trimester of pregnancy, wanted to speak to them. "I was so afraid of saying the wrong thing," says Gretchen. But the two women hit it off, and within two weeks the birth mom picked the couple to be the adoptive parents. It was an exceptionally fast agreement -- private domestic matches often take a year or longer.
The McWhorters met the birth mother for dinner shortly before her due date and were by her side when she went into labor. "I kept saying to her, 'Kick me out at any point. I don't have to be here.' But she wanted us to stay," says Gretchen. The birth mom had Justin cut the cord, then invited Gretchen to give baby Elizabeth her first bottle. She let the newborn spend her first night with the couple (who stayed in an adjacent hospital room) and signed away her rights the next day. "Everyone was crying when we left," Gretchen recalls, "except the baby."
But it wasn't really a goodbye. Gretchen sends e-mails and photos of Elizabeth (who's now 11 months old) every week. And having read research that shows adopted children do better when they learn about their birth parents, she isn't ruling out the possibility of inviting the birth mom to visit them one day. "I believe it's in Elizabeth's best interest for us to be more open," Gretchen says. "And that's what matters most."
love to all!
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