A Post Full of Updates

To say the last month has been a whirlwind would and does not even begin to describe the craziness we've encountered.  In May we had no plans other than we were going to go to an orientation for this agency we heard about and see what would happen.  We knew nothing would happen for at least 3 months so we pretty confidently scheduled a time to have a wall take out of our house since.. we have the time... sheesh.. I couldn't have been more wrong.

June 8th we began the work of taking out a wall in our home.  Our friends helped us and did an amazing job since they knew what they were doing and.. well I don't.  

June 11th we went to an orientation to "check out" an agency that we were considering switching to.  They focus primarily in VA and work directly with the foster care system and that's what we were feeling God put on our heart lately.  When we went into that meeting we were planning on getting information and going on their "wait list" for adoption.  Since all the stuff with the twin's went down Steve just hadn't felt comfortable with the idea of just foster care and so we had never really talked about it aside from to say we would pray about it.  Well God moves  quickly when it's time and by the time the two hour orientation was complete not only were we starting training THE NEXT DAY we were signing up to do Foster to Adopt instead of Adoption.  This honestly is a complete act of God and true evidence that He doesn't need us to change hearts.. He needs us to pray and have an open hand to accept what He decides for us.

I am in awe of the bravery my husband has shown to step out in faith and trust that God will protect our hearts as littles come and go from our home.  

The three weeks after the 11th were full of training, painting, buying essentially a house full of furniture, finishing up construction and turning 29.. well I did anyways.  Our home study began a week after we began training which was simply INSANE.  I am grateful for Lutheran Family Services and how quickly they get things done.  You can really tell that their goal is to find families and healthy matches for these kids that just need a home.  

I'll update more later about the Foster to Adopt and what that means and how it's different that straight adoption.  We are excited though and also terrified.. but like my dad said today.. if we weren't terrified there would be something wrong with us.

Last update for right now, I started singing again with the worship ministry at our church.  It was a lot of fun getting back up there and being a part of things.  I am deeply grateful for the time I had off.  I was able to work through a lot of grief that had come up because of the twins.. there were a lot of days during the first two months where I honestly just sat on the couch and watched "Bones".  I couldn't process much and really just had to work through it.  Grief is not something that you can work through quickly and the more you ignore it, the worse it gets.  So I faced it head on and as a result had two miserable months.. but then I began to come alive again.  It wasn't quick and it definitely has taken work.  

I'm coming to a place now where my identity is tied up less and less in who I know or what I do.  My identity is and has to be found in Christ and who he has made me to be.  So because of that when I'm on that stage it is for him.  When I am home with my future littles it is for him.  When I go about my day it needs to be for him.  The satisfaction in the journey of finding him truly is the most exciting adventure I've ever been on.

Be Blessed!