A Heart Changed: Adoption from a Grandfather's Perspective
I saw this story the other day and wanted to share it. I sometimes worry about how our families will or do feel about us adopting. Will they love our babies the same? From everything I have read and heard from people these are normal questions. It has been so fun to see my mom really starting to embrace this and to even begin to call herself "Grandma" even though I don't know if that's what we're going to have them call her... sorry mom but you're too young to be a "Grandma" :) Steve's grandma on his mom's side is called None' and I really love that! So momma Day you might be getting the "None'" name passed on. Mom what do you think of "Yaya" or "Mimi"...oh I've got it!!! "Gogo"!!!! Yes! That's an African name for grandmother.
Steve and I both come from amazing families. They have both been so supportive of us over the years. They both have very different ways of going about it but they compliment each other. Steve's parents are not close by but we know they are only a phone call away when we need them! They also were SUCH a huge help this summer making our home bearable during the heat!!! My family is 10 minutes away so we see them at least once a week. Mom and Dad have been a huge financial help in the beginning stages of planning the adoption. They've partnered with us a monthly amount that we both give and it's exciting to see it grow each month! The money part of adoption is the part I worry about the least. We don't have the money, we will have a small amount ready to start the process. I have such a peace about it though. God is going to give us ideas and bring people along who want to help with adoption who are not called to adopt themselves. I was told by a church member this past summer that I needed to make sure I didn't keep people out of the process. That we needed to be open to people being able to partner with us, to help us bring our babies home. It was such a release for me to hear that from someone who barely knew me. That released me from any self proclaimed guilt about letting people know a need we had. That's what the body is for. We are to take care of each other and meet each other's needs! Honestly though, and I mean this completely and from the depths of my heart, prayer is more important to us than anything. It almost brings me to tears when we get comments from someone we don't know well, or when I'm stopped at church by someone telling me they are praying for us and our babies. We feel it. Prayer is everything to us and we believe with that covering everything else will fall into place!!!! Ok that was a little foray into my head :) Enjoy the story!
A Heart Changed: Adoption from a Grandfather's Perspective
My daughter and son-in-law adopted a little two-and-a-half-year-old girl in 2008 from China. She had severe heart defects and cleft lip and palate. When they first told us they were starting the adoption in the summer of 2007, I was not on board for a while. I very quickly came to terms with the idea and am today blessed to be called "Papa" by this wonderful little girl who is now five years old and very healthy. I love my youngest granddaughter very much.
Sometime in 2009 my daughter and son-in-law told us they were adopting again—this time, a ten-year-old boy from China. I was really not wanting to hear that. I thought this child was too old and we have five grandchildren already, including their three children and my oldest daughter's two children. I didn’t want any more; five was definitely enough. But late in 2009 they began to talk and pray about trying to adopt a five-year-old boy at the same time as their then waiting ten-year-old son. I thought they were crazy. I really thought they had gone off the deep end. I sure didn’t want two more grandsons at the same time! I had five grandchildren already.
To be completely honest, I hated the idea. I prayed about it and even talked to my minister. I discussed it with my wife also, but she did not agree with my feelings at all. I struggled with the idea of another grandchild or two by adoption for months. I did not tell my daughter how I felt but she knew I was not happy about it. Despite my feelings, the adoption took place and I found myself having seven grandchildren when I was completely satisfied with having the four and then five after our granddaughter arrived back in 2008.
Our two newest grandsons came home in July 2010. I found myself having to decide if I was going to try to love the boys. It didn’t take long to see it was going to be impossible not to love the older one. He was so loving to everyone it was impossible to resist his love. I thought to myself, "Well I will love him but I am not so sure about the five year old." The Lord really does have a sense of humor and here is why. I really didn’t want to have anything to do with our youngest new grandson, so I tried not to reach out to him in any way. In a very short time, he began calling me "Papa" just like his little sister (who is 4 months younger than him). Since the boys came home in the summer and we have a pool, my daughters and our grandchildren spent quite a bit of time hanging out here at the house. The more I resisted our youngest grandson, the five-year-old, the more he followed me everywhere I went all the time saying, "PAPA! PAPA!". I knew I had to give up and let him into my heart also. And I am so thankful I did!
The Lord put him in my life so quickly I could not resist. I am very happy to have both of my new grandsons now. I am still somewhat troubled with knowing how hard it has been on my daughter and her family during the transition, but I know they are blessed to have their five children. They are great parents. They really have a heart for adoption and I am glad to be a part of the process.
- Proud Papa to seven, including three adopted through AW from China's Waiting Child Program
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Also, it took a while for my MIL to get on board. But she came around once she saw him!