A Dreamers Fears...

Posted by Katie February 03, 2011

A Dreamers Fears...

My son, if you accept my words

and store up my commands within you,

turning your ear to wisdom

and applying your heart to understanding—

indeed, if you call out for insight

and cry aloud for understanding,

and if you look for it as for silver

and search for it as for hidden treasure,

then you will understand the fear of the LORD

and find the knowledge of God.

For the LORD gives wisdom;

from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.

He holds success in store for the upright,

he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,

for he guards the course of the just

and protects the way of his faithful ones.

This has been a theme I've seen coming out of the Bible at me the last few days. Accept God's commands, ask for wisdom, understanding, discernment and judgement. Trust in the Lord and don't lean on my understanding. To not be wise in my own eyes but to trust the Lord has designed my path....even when it seems twisty!!!

I told Steve last night I was beginning to question if adoption right now was our goal or God's goal... I think this is normal with all the waiting we're experiencing. This morning when I was doing my quiet time the big thing that stood out to me was that I need to "Trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. In ALL my ways acknowledge him and he will make my path straight." It gave me a peace as I read on and it reminded me to ask for wisdom and understanding. My ways are not God's ways and any fears that I have... and I do have them! He will take care of. I just need to not give into those fears or let them control me. I know this is the path he has put us on... sometimes with all the waiting though it gets easy to question that and to get uncertain. I start thinking about all the things that need to happen and I get scared!

So Steve and I decided this morning that tomorrow we are going to go on a date... the first one in weeks because of our schedule! We are going to go to an adorable local restaurant in Hilton and then we are going to dream. We are going to start working even harder on getting our debts paid off, paying back those we owe and allowing ourselves to dream of the future. To dream of the day when our babies get here, to the first time we get to take them to Nags Head with the family... (trust me that's a BIG deal), the first time we get to take them to FL to visit the g-parents... although I'm pretty sure neither of our sets of parents will be called grandma or grandmother etc. :) They're too young for that! There are so many things to dream about... all we know is it's time to start dreaming because we have not allowed ourselves to for years!